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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?